Citing "Irreconcilable Espresso Martini"

I'm a fan of beverages such as Red Bull and Rock Star. Diet Rock Star, an absurdly large can that looks like a Rocketman fuel pack, made me aggressive, moody and vocal in front of throngs of 11 year old girls at Diry Dancing 2: Havana Nights.

"GET YOUR MITTS OFF DIEGO LUNA, YOU TALENTLESS WHORE!"

I've also been known to sip a SPARKS energy-infused beer while walking down the street, because the can looks like a soda can, and the cops never notice.


But all those trashy aluminum bullets have been brushed aside by a new, sleeker, more sophisticated energy drink that kicks all their alls asses. The ESPRESSO MARTINI. Ingredients:

- Chilled espresso
- Vodka
- Tia Maria
- Splash Baileys
- Whatever stupid bougie garnish/rim job


Honestly, I had 2 of these last night and was like a Tasmanian Devil for 6 hours. I ended up, for the second time in a month, covering my face in a mud mask, and passing out while waiting for it to dry. When my boyfriend came home to this

except shot with a tranquilizer gun, he almost divorced me.

LOVE YOU BABE! LAST TIME, I PROMISE!