Beans, Beans, the Magical Fruit

The sort of secret blog of Beans, a.k.a. Jules, a.k.a. "Legs for Miles" a.k.a. "Rackie the Boob Queen." Fine, ok, not the last two. Starting July 2006, sometimes "Mike," aka "fagadoccio," is a co-poster on the blog. The co-poster child, really.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Market Theory of Too Much Time with Parents

I was in Finland for TWO MONTHS with no one but my parents. It didn't seem like such a bad idea: we've always gotten along, and besides, I would be working a bit. All I have to say is, I have all this photographic and anecdotal evidence that at one point, I was a young, happenin' chick with night after night of parties and shows, dance cards and C-cups filled to the brim. Now I'm fairly certain I've aged about 20 years and have become a mustachioed, sweat-panted, shag-bobbed house-dwelling fatass spinster with no friends. I don't even know where my cellphone is.

But here's the most insulting part. You know how most parents treasure nothing more than the company of their coop-flown progeny? This is clearly a market-based phenomenon, in which children, by making themselves in such short supply, increase the demand for their company. I would say that the market here at home has become oversaturated with Yours Truly, and demand has plummeted. It's sort of shocking to be shrugged off by the selfsame people that were trying to feed you soup and hand you cash when you came home from college.

It's quite shocking actually. I'm rather shattered, not personally, but at the economic breakthrough I've discovered. To think that if we all returned home to the bosom of our parents forever (not that this was my intention) they would consequently wish us dead, and that it is simply because we leave that they seem to sit at home frothing with baleful affection.

Well, I'll be moving to the midwest soon and becoming quite scarce, so the market forecast looks good-- someone tell Suze Ormond I'll be worth my weight in diamonds come September!


At 10:26 PM, Blogger Vicar said...

Your revenge will come when it comes time to put them in the home.

Good luck with the midwest. It's quite...midwestern. You're free to stop by and say hello to my parents, although I realize I'm an anonymous internet person. Hmmm. Just tell them you're me. And that you grew back some hair. And boobs. No, you don't know where the grandkids are.


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