Deutschsproch

Why Jules, I certainly do have some compound word-structs waiting for some Germanic intervention!

Crunchcoif: The condition in which many 19-year-old female interns in the city find their highlighted, consistently blow-dried, often tequila-soaked locks. Characterized by dry coarseness with a healthy dose of flyaways that look like tree branches in winter. Expl: "Mandy's crunchcoif could use a day at the beach with a still life's worth of lemons, or else she's gonna start looking like a bronze medal."

Weatherboner: When someone needs the weather to be a certain way, and the forecast calls for it, the anticipatory emotional outpouring can only be described thusly. Most often seen in bridezillas with outdoor ceremonies, learning-disabled schoolchildren who haven't finished their book report on "The Boxcar Children" and need a snow day, and, well, me. Expl: "During the great blizzard of '96, Mike's weatherboner pointed directly upward toward the snow-choked sky."

Shoredouche: This one is in reference to a product I wish some chemical corporation would produce, but hasn't yet. As avid beachcombers, Jules and I have noticed a certain unfortunate hygienic consequence of sea frolicking and sun worshipping: our B.O. resembles neither our everyday end o' workday smell nor the collective stenches that the coast can sometimes exhibit. A proper shoredouche is needed to clear out the fumes and return us to our natural musky equilibrium. No expl. needed, right Jules?