Dear People.com

Dear People.com,

The Lord created the world in 6 days, if I remember correctly, and then on the 7th, which was a Sunday, he rested.

However, celebrities are not the Lord, and they almost never rest. They do not, come Sunday, say to themselves, "It's time to take a break from driving drunk, divorcing my peg-legged spouse, showing up to a premiere with my vagina below my dress hem, naming my baby something retarded, and resting Andre the Giant's sunglasses on the bony carapace where my face should be." And if celebrities do not rest on Sunday, People.com, neither should you.

Update Star Tracks, I'm begging here.

Love,
Beans


Ugh, disgusting. I need more.