Beans, Beans, the Magical Fruit

The sort of secret blog of Beans, a.k.a. Jules, a.k.a. "Legs for Miles" a.k.a. "Rackie the Boob Queen." Fine, ok, not the last two. Starting July 2006, sometimes "Mike," aka "fagadoccio," is a co-poster on the blog. The co-poster child, really.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Live Blogging the Food Network: Alton Brown

Alton is spazzing about vanilla. I don't think there's a better verb for what Alton does than spazz, except maybe 3-D spazz: he spazzes in every dimension. He attacks a thing with science, with sketch comedy, with fact, with lore. He's the fixed, terrier-like obsession of Jeffrey Steingarten with the incontrovertible knowledge of Harold McGee. Don't get distracted by the gimmickry-- we can all learn from Alton Brown, that spiky, gosling-haired goof. He takes nothing in a recipe for granted, seems to reexamine the basics of everything. He heated the cream for his creme brulee just now in a plug-in hot-kettle!

Right now he's doing a sketch where he's sitting in a limo between a fake movie executive and an oversize fake vanilla bean that looks like a black man's testicle.

Got to love this wacktard. Oh now he's using a power drill to core pears and screaming at the pear to die. Crazy bastard.


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