Beans, Beans, the Magical Fruit

The sort of secret blog of Beans, a.k.a. Jules, a.k.a. "Legs for Miles" a.k.a. "Rackie the Boob Queen." Fine, ok, not the last two. Starting July 2006, sometimes "Mike," aka "fagadoccio," is a co-poster on the blog. The co-poster child, really.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Nerd-Sun Courrier

Dear The Economist,

Nobody likes a dork. OK? You need to give people a break. No, listen, I'm interested in synthetic biology, and I'm willing to have you catch me up on 40 years of DNA synthesis, computer technology, and the "mere pottering" that you call today's science of genetic engineering, but then you follow right up with the death of tolerance in the Netherlands, and this was all sheer moments after catching me up on the amoebal splits and mergers of the European baby food market. I'm just saying: can't we have a countdown or two? A Quick Tips box? A Hot/Not chart? You'd be surprised how one measley monthly feature called "Guy Without His Shirt" makes the serious business of Cosmopolitan (e.g. "How to Hose Down a Horn Dog") more palatable. I like the use of charts and graphs but come on, Economist, don't make me feel like I'm enduring the Quantitative portion of the SAT's. Boring grey and blue boxes stacked up like dry toast to express private equity investment as percent of GDP by country? Why not simply put a picture of a slutty woman shrugging, with the words "Private Equity Investment????" in block text over her crotch? Today's reader's need-- nay, expect-- visuals, not the black-and-white squiggly symbols back-to-back on every page of your dork report.

Don't be prideful, Economist. Listen to the wisdom. Time to tits up your journal a bit if you want to stay in the game. And THEN we'll all be willing to sit around a little more patiently and listen to why Felipe Calderon's Mexican presidential campaign is destabilized by blah blah blah percent acronym fact blah blah Other Country yamma yamma yamma peril.

RATE THIS BEEFCAKE!!! Then learn about whether the US Virgin Islands are sufficiently prepared for a terrorist attack. Bonus: 101 SEX TRICKS TO LEARN BEFORE YOU DIE!!!


At 7:38 PM, Blogger Paul said...

The Economist hides its lighter side. They had a photo of Rupert Murdoch with assistant, captioned "Sorry boss, they were all out of newspapers so I got you a radio station instead."


Post a Comment

<< Home